For a decade, a Norway golf club has been searching for a vandal terrorizing their golf course. The perpetrator repeatedly sneaks onto the course and poops in the cups.
In a story reported by the Rogaland Avis paper, employees of Stavanger Golf Club in Stavanger, Norway began finding feces in the holes as far back as 2005. The initial discovery occurred the morning of a championship tournament held at the links. The matter was cleaned up prior to the start of the event.
The bowel-moving menace has continued to bomb the greens regularly over the last 10 years.
“We know it is a man because the poos are too massive to be from a woman,” according to groundskeeper Kenneth Tennfjord.
Along with gender (and apparent protein-rich diet), workers at Stavanger have also deduced the defecating derelict rides a bicycle to his hole of choice evidenced by tire tracks and footprints leading to the cup left in the morning dew.
The Club hasn’t been able to uncover any other details on the fecal felon nor divert his healthy digestive system. At one point, flood lights were installed to illuminate the most targeted greens. Undeterred, the turd transgressor dismantled the lights by climbing a tree and out onto a branch where they were mounted prior to sinking another of his putts.
Tennfjord added that the deuce-dropping delinquent only strikes on weekdays. They have never found poo on the golf course on the weekends. Clearly, he has better things to do.
Although unconfirmed, it is speculated that Stavanger members are known for the length of the “gimmie” putts they hand out to each other. It must not be worth the risk of trying to retrieve your ball from the cup.
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